You really coming over, don't trick.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
