sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize