Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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