why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
