You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
