Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
