Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
