Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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