so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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