is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
