based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
