I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
