he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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