i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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