Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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