do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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