So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
