Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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