You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Let's get the cat blown out
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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