Having a random hookup so left but love u
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
