Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
