the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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