Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
