I just made out with a guy for $7.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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