He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
