Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
