Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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