i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
