I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
