somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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