There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
