I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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