It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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