White coat. Heels.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
