shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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