It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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