yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize