# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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