I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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