I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
