so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
