Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My ATM looks so different sober.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
