ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
