I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
