You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
