What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize