R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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