I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
