good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
