Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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