He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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