take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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