Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
