I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
