I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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