Can Purell be used as lube?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
do nipples grow back?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
