Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
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