I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
